Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Different kinds of busy.

First, go read this on Carrots N Cake. And the comments. (Particularly the people that didn't leave their names.) I'll wait while you read. Really.



Okay. You saw there was some blasting going on at poor Tina for her idea of a "busy day." I was going to write a very long comment in response, but instead, I thought I'd share it with you here. (And honestly, I got so damn mad, I couldn't stop typing.)

Here goes:

Y'all are right, not all our Mondays look like this. Yes, some people do have an office they are required to sit in for a requisite number of hours. Yes, some people don't get to run errands or take a break for fitness in their work day. Does that mean they are any less busy/hectic during the day? No.

Before you blast me, why don't you take a look at a stay-at-home mom's Monday schedule. They don't have an office to go to, but they do have kids to get up, clothe, pack lunches for and get them to their school(s). Oh, after getting up extra early to get themselves ready, I might add. Does their day end there? No. They're back to the house to clean, prep dinner, grocery shop, run errands. Then it's time to pick up the kids and the real fun starts. After school snacks are made, dinner is cooked, homework is checked, laundry is done, dishes are cleaned, baths are drawn. Then PJs, bedtime stories and goodnight kisses. The day's not over yet, boys and girls! Then there's more cleaning, prepping bags for the kids for the next day and then maybe, finally, a moment to rest and read or watch tv.

That mom didn't park herself in an office all day. Does she have any less of a busy day? No. She ran errands, she shopped and probably did things like take the dog out for a walk or maybe even a fitness DVD if she had time.

Everyone has different kinds of days. I used to be jealous of people that got to stay home all day and work. Until I realized it was TWICE the work than if I'd been sitting in the office. I used to be jealous of the people that left a full time jobs to run their own business. Until i realized that it took a huge amount of work. More than sitting in an office all day, more hours than the normal workday just trying to take care of every little detail. It's easy to judge from the office chair and say that's an awesome day, or that's what my weekend looks like. I think a pretty good example of how real life sometimes works when you're running your own business. Some days, you sit in front of the screen for 18 hours. Some days, you get to see a duckling family and shop. So, chill out and enjoy the the view outside your office chair, huh?

What do you think? Were the anonymous commenters right on Carrots N Cake? Does her day not count as busy? What does your busy day include?


Emily {FitandFreeEmily} said...

You go, girl!!!

It always makes me sad when people refuse to think outside of themselves and never consider another person's life. I just want to shake them and say "get over yourself."

Samantha~ said...

So glad you posted this!! I completely agree with you that these people have no right to judge Tina on whether her day was busy or not.

Oh, so you're upset that you have to go to school all day long then work another 2 jobs at night? Shucks, seems like you made that decision. That's what I do. All. Year. Long. Do it suck? Yes. Would I like to be a blogger and make my own schedule? Yes. But I know that Tina has a lot more perseverance than I do. If I stayed at home, I would stay in PJ's all day and rarely get work done. I need the structure of an office.

Ultimately, only YOU (yea, you mean commenter) are the one to decide what you do. Tina will decide what she does and I will decide what I do. Just because her square-busy doesn't fit into your round-busy doesn't make it any less.

PS~ Glad you could take time from your extremely busy schedule to hate. Priorities right?

workout mommy said...

thanks for defending the stay at home moms! (i have some friends who really ask me what i do "ALL DAY LONG?!")

anyway, there are definitely some hater comments on there but i can also see why some readers said it rubbed them the wrong way. like you said, everyone's day is different and not everyone is going to agree with a blog post either. i don't get why people have to bash!? :(

Leaving Fatville said...

I get where they are. I really do. I spent a lot of time wishing to have someone else's life. I was wishing so hard, I forgot that *I* had control over my life. Not these other people, it was up to me and only me to make those changes. Mine are happening a bit slower, but I'm okay with that. Sometimes it's hard to see that the only one that can make a change, is you.

Meg said...

When I read CarrotsNCake's blog post comments I laughed. I couldn't help it. The meanies who thought they were "busier" than Tina just sounded dumb. I mean, really, we're one-upping each other now on who's day is busiest? I'm a stay at home mom. I am up at 6 with the baby every day and have a full day of household chores (yes, I am one of those SAHMs whose house is very clean) and entertaining my child. I have dinner ready by 5 and only after the baby is put to bed at 8 to I get to do something for myself. Some might think their day is busier because they're out of the house for 8 hours, but let me tell you, right now as I'm typing this will be the only time I will be sitting down for the next 3-4 hours.

Our lives are different. Busy takes on a different meaning to each.

Brittany said...

Those commenters definitely irked me the wrong way. Thanks for standing up and making a stance! We all have different lives, and are going to have different schedules! That doesn't make someone's life better than anothers!

Becky said...

I think the grass is always greener. I'm always envious of my best friend who works from home. I think, "My life would be so easy if I didn't have to get dressed and could cook at home and run errands..." But my best friend always talks about how envious of me she is because I can leave my work in my office and get to interact with people and don't have to worry about running errands...

Neither of us really has a good picture of what the other does, so of course it sounds better! You won't catch me arguing for one or the other. I think all of us make our own lives far busier than they need to be.

ThunderThighs said...

Ummm, I am just in shock that anybody thinks they have any right to judge what other people do with their days. WHO CARES! If you (not meaning YOU, more in reference to the haters) don't like what's written, DON'T READ IT!! Those people need to get over themselves!! I have a very hectic life, but sometimes I take a personal day and spend it very similar to how her Monday was. If I were to write about that, it wouldn't in any way truly reflect what my life is really like. Those people have no idea!

Lauren Jones said...

I would tend to agree with some of the commenters, in that there is a difference between 'busy', 'hectic' or 'crazy' and 'productive'. I'm a full-time student and I have plenty of days that are productive and that involve studying, exercising, running errands, cleaning the house and doing lots of other things, but I wouldn't exactly call them 'busy'. During the holidays I work full time and have to fit all that in around a nine-hour work day (and thats not including the three-hours commuting that I have to do) - that is what I would call 'busy'. Tina's Monday was certainly productive and I take my hat off to her for being so organised, I certainly wish I had her motivation. I also acknowledge that Tina probably worked very hard to get to the position that she's in now that allows her to work in her own time. Each to their own I guess, but I can see why it rubbed people up the wrong way.


Jackie Dooley said...

When you're self employed and work from home, whether it's as a blogger or otherwise (I'm a search marketer and have worked from home since 2002) - there is so much more to the story. I often have days like the ones Tina described (well, usually less productive), plus I have two kids so I have to fit lots of mommy stuff into the day on top of work, errands, etc. I love the flexibility I have, but I think it's important to point out that when you work for yourself, you lose a lot of the benefits you'd get as a full-time employee. Like, you know, health benefits and unemployment insurance, oh and PAID vacation (such a luxury!)

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a HUGE tradeoff when you work for yourself. Yeah, you get to have a lot of freedom and that's really important to those of us who have this kind of lifestyle, but it's not free, and it's certainly not without stress. There's just really no way to communicate the anxiety that tax season produces in me (for example) and so I don't feel the need to defend myself when I take my 2 hour bike ride 3 days a week!

GB Girl said...

I'm an outsider to all of this because I hadn't discovered Tina's blog yet. I had to check it out though, once I read your post.

Ridiculous! It's a cute post about her busy day and all people want to do is bash her?!? Yes. Everyone's days are different. We all have different types of 'busy'. Our differences make us interesting to each other.

I find it sad that the negative comments took over and turned it into a competition. I don't even know what they are competing for. Who's busiest? Who's more stressed?

To me, it became 'Who's a bigger duckling hating jerk?'

I just got angrier and angrier as I kept reading the comments. I had to stop at a certain point. We shouldn't have to defend ourselves like this. If you don't like what someone has posted, just move on and find something you do like.

Unless that post contains slanderous dirty jokes about your grandmother, just hush.

Also, not meaning 'you' as in YOU, but the haters. :)

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